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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (2787)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

#21410693
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37251) - you deserved it (6208)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (1991)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (10368)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (2254)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (2696)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

#21405555
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28678) - you deserved it (2800)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by anon - United States (Kansas)

Today, my drunken feminazi mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

#21407591
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29951) - you deserved it (2623)

On 05/10/2015 at 2:00am - misc - by How's the salmon? - United States

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27029) - you deserved it (2342)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

#21406510
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28708) - you deserved it (2630)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:23pm - animals - by MyNameIsNotJeff (man) - United States

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (1262)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

#21410631
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30638) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/15/2015 at 6:26pm - money - by that was mine - United States (New Jersey)



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