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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (6906)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I thought I was having a heart attack and I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. He told me to wait because he'd just ordered a pizza. FML

#21387949
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30606) - you deserved it (2735)

On 04/05/2015 at 8:27am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (15262)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (3093)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, my mom let me know that I'll have to spend my entire tax return on replacing my car brakes. The reason I need new brakes is because almost every single time she uses the car, she floors the gas while the parking brake is still on. FML

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22148) - you deserved it (1950)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (2043)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

#21389237
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33158) - you deserved it (2533)

On 04/07/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by f my lifw - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (3329)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

#21393386
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28326) - you deserved it (3029)

On 04/14/2015 at 4:33am - intimacy - by Lebac - United States (Washington)



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