Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (7526)
On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (2512)
On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35787) - you deserved it (3353)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38811) - you deserved it (2124)
On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (4139)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38435) - you deserved it (2911)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45188) - you deserved it (4292)
On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)
Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34499) - you deserved it (2860)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (2123)
On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36021) - you deserved it (3237)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39046) - you deserved it (5234)
On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41481) - you deserved it (3240)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35793) - you deserved it (5936)
On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
