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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (4331)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, I had to work at the restaurant instead of going to the prom, which nobody asked me out to. For five hours, I got to shamefully greet and seat people on their way home from the prom, all of whom knew I was too lame to get asked out. FML

#21111507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38338) - you deserved it (3659)

On 04/12/2014 at 11:01pm - work - by annoyed teen - United States (Idaho)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9213) - you deserved it (699)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

#21102658
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (15386)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:20am - misc - by Sad Nerd (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

#21105342
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30218) - you deserved it (7314)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by lamemom - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22359) - you deserved it (3274)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (3022)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (3604)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
60 comments

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (2611)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

#21114882
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (878)

On 04/16/2014 at 8:00pm - love - by kittykat798 (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4001) - you deserved it (282)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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