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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

#21202569
139 comments

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (4281)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I taught my 23-year-old boyfriend how to correctly brush his teeth. FML

#21209921
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (5479)

On 07/15/2014 at 5:24pm - health - by stinky breath - United States (California)

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42596) - you deserved it (7529)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40871) - you deserved it (6364)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

#21203575
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:02am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24861) - you deserved it (39668)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (1487)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2927) - you deserved it (15042)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

#21209860
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (3474)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:11pm - health - by smh (woman) - United States



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