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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24040) - you deserved it (3651)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (3100)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (2022)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML

#21404939
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (2780)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML

#21404625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26025) - you deserved it (1867)

On 05/04/2015 at 5:02pm - misc - by Malíya - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

#21402837
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (10397)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:24am - love - by Forever alone - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

#21405647
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (31275)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML

#21406339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27708) - you deserved it (2960)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:56pm - misc - by Martine624 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

#21404700
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14645) - you deserved it (24836)

On 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

#21403333
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (6039)

On 05/02/2015 at 10:23am - intimacy - by wellfuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34541) - you deserved it (2785)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (3128)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -



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