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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

#21441433
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (1563)

On 07/14/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by ow my kidneys (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

#21438778
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (1922)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by momoftheyearedition - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25924) - you deserved it (1462)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (2046)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (2364)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML

#21441236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (2966)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:07pm - work - by Lukey1028 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (19486)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

#21442921
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24870) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:00am - intimacy - by battle1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

#21439620
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (2632)

On 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

#21441519
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (1447)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired from my dream job for being pregnant. Apparently, you can't teach children while growing one inside you. FML

#21444439
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (2108)

On 07/20/2015 at 10:29am - work - by mrsmahdi - United States (California)



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