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October 2014

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Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML

#21286263
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (2858) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/27/2014 at 10:22am - health - by DiiiDiiine (woman) - France (Limousin)

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29144) - you deserved it (2421)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (2703)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (4574)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31062) - you deserved it (3407)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (7092)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (2924)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (2239)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (3881)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

#21268609
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32612) - you deserved it (2413)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:05pm - misc - by Hi, I'm Heather - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML



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Friday 24 October 2014

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