Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33094) - you deserved it (10274)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56265) - you deserved it (2942)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45470) - you deserved it (3059)
On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31341) - you deserved it (3443)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by vegas518 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48995) - you deserved it (4270)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (3086)
On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47297) - you deserved it (8699)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States
Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42535) - you deserved it (4733)
On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)
Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44660) - you deserved it (7490)
On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43103) - you deserved it (4412)
On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33602) - you deserved it (6964)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by lackadaisy_leah - United States
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35104) - you deserved it (19844)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40180) - you deserved it (3728)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Monday 20 May 2013
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