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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML

#21410882
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (4793)

On 05/16/2015 at 7:47am - animals - by yif2 (woman) - United States

Today, I emotionally confessed to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat it several times. He ended up telling me no. FML

#21407219
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (2541)

On 05/09/2015 at 11:53am - love - by ForeverAlone - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML

#21404625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (1865)

On 05/04/2015 at 5:02pm - misc - by Malíya - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (2318)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34228) - you deserved it (2781)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

#21405647
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (31005)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

#21404700
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14634) - you deserved it (24805)

On 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (2373)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

#21410455
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (3452)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:58am - misc - by Anon - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML

#21404939
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26414) - you deserved it (2780)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

#21408378
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30562) - you deserved it (4733)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (8979)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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