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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (3483)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (4129)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, I received a break-up text while in a cramped car with my whole family. I had to choke back tears as we got stuck in traffic with the radio playing one love song after another. FML

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

#21441140
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (10669)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (2720)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (4774)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

#21439774
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (1824)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm - work - by don't get paid enough for this (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

#21441433
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27482) - you deserved it (1563)

On 07/14/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by ow my kidneys (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

#21438778
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22509) - you deserved it (1922)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by momoftheyearedition - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

#21447771
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15679) - you deserved it (888)

On 07/26/2015 at 11:00pm - money - by stonehengeva - United States (Virginia)

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (1462)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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