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December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

#21313951
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (2267)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:23pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (6125)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a girl who had to cut our date short so she could go on another one. FML

#21313753
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32932) - you deserved it (3231)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:58pm - love - by Anonomous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (2382)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (4077)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (4673)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

#21314271
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (2384)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:39am - health - by fucking moron (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (3480)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

#21314515
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (3458)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm - love - by thatsnice - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I deleted a load of junk that was messing up my mother's computer. I don't know how I'm going to tell her I accidentally wiped out all of her wedding photos. FML

#21310063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (26609)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:02pm - misc - by not living happily ever after - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

#21315499
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13013) - you deserved it (32660)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:26am - work - by unlucky (woman) - Hong Kong



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