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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (7031)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

#21413979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (2717)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by xolaurennnn - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

#21407667
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (2005)

On 05/10/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

#21405437
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27403) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/06/2015 at 12:13am - misc - by msleea - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (3154)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (5805)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (2561)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (2926)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32776) - you deserved it (2105)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

#21403907
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (2252)

On 05/03/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by umyuck - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25082) - you deserved it (1988)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)



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