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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27919) - you deserved it (4276)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
150 comments

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35851) - you deserved it (3621)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27668) - you deserved it (1962)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35382) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36140) - you deserved it (5689)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26019) - you deserved it (5366)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

#21260940
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (2213)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm - misc - by Lexi801 - United States (Utah)

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML

Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I was punched in the face because my uncontrollable hiccups were "annoying". FML

#21250817
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (3800)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:13pm - health - by soccer8goalie - United States (West Virginia)



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