Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42368) - you deserved it (4247)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45451) - you deserved it (3140)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38184) - you deserved it (7814)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43052) - you deserved it (4376)
On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70199) - you deserved it (2672)
On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31988) - you deserved it (2677)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42466) - you deserved it (2828)
On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47508) - you deserved it (11619)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31843) - you deserved it (4106)
On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34201) - you deserved it (21546)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49410) - you deserved it (2255)
On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33949) - you deserved it (3506)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (3033)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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