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September 2014

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Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (4075)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

#21258796
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (3245)

On 09/15/2014 at 1:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML

#21250795
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32064) - you deserved it (4747)

On 09/02/2014 at 9:35pm - health - by Gee... Thanks (man) -

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (3493)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Duluxe". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

#21257403
87 comments

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

#21251280
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (3117)

On 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm - health - by svenska75 (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37914) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

#21258738
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (2248)

On 09/15/2014 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38384) - you deserved it (2542)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15519) - you deserved it (35680)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34987) - you deserved it (4617)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (2587)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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