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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (2456)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15378) - you deserved it (35100)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (4495)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
149 comments

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Duluxe". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

#21257403
84 comments

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I was punched in the face because my uncontrollable hiccups were "annoying". FML

#21250817
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35026) - you deserved it (3798)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:13pm - health - by soccer8goalie - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36497) - you deserved it (2378)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML

#21252624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31673) - you deserved it (9127)

On 09/05/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by tbee - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36603) - you deserved it (2715)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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