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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

#21521867
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15472) - you deserved it (10612)

On 02/01/2016 at 6:11pm - misc - by scottishoatmeal - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

#21522144
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (1758)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm - misc - by oh, shit...... - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

#21522618
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19869) - you deserved it (1712)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm - misc - by InDebt (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

#21522710
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:13am - work - by LL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (1550)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

#21522996
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18853) - you deserved it (1750)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Sgt_Jackrum (woman) - United Kingdom (Sandwell)

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

#21523112
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19340) - you deserved it (2394)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm - misc - by UUUGHHH (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18616) - you deserved it (1714)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

#21523258
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16859) - you deserved it (1296)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:04am - misc - by sick of this shit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

#21523269
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14144) - you deserved it (11059)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the power in my village went out. This caused the back-up battery powered alarm to go off. Nobody in the house even knew our alarm worked, let alone how to make it stop. It's been going off for over an hour now. FML

#21524147
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14569) - you deserved it (1369)

On 02/08/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by James (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

#21524473
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16321) - you deserved it (1842)

On 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by hannieannie - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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