Choose the period

All time / Top of the month / Top of the week / Top of the day
August 2016

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, my best friend asked if car oil could be used as a substitute for lube. I need new friends. FML

Today, I have a huge crush on my best friend who views me as his little sister. My coworker found out and has since been making incest jokes. FML

Today, all of my friends bailed from the birthday party I was throwing myself. This was also after they had encouraged me for months to have one, knowing I'd never had my birthday celebrated before. FML

by Its My BDay I Can Cry If I Want To / 08/10/2016 at 12:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

by LostInSunday / 08/15/2016 at 4:11am / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

by sillymink / 08/19/2016 at 10:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

by FriendlessLoser / 08/17/2016 at 3:11am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends told me they have been able to see all my BDSM likes in their Facebook feeds. My family and coworkers also follow me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2016 at 5:21am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work to find a picture on my desk of me with my buttcrack showing put there by an anonymous person. FM

by Lordy / 08/03/2016 at 7:33am / Saudi Arabia / Work

Today, I went to the eye doctor with my little brother. There were only three chairs and one was occupied by a woman. I sat at the far end, but as soon as I sat down, I heard my little brother yell out loud, "I DON'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO THE FAT LADY!" FML

by reallydevonte / 08/01/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I excitedly told my brother I submitted a short story for a competition for the first time ever. His reply? "Congrats. I guess the first letter of rejection is a special occasion." Gee, thanks for that reality check. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2016 at 10:42am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set my beer on the windowsill while I made space for it on the table. Suddenly, the wind knocked the window open. Into my beer. Into a box of expensive electronics. It was the last beer. FML

by sayno2mermaids / 08/03/2016 at 10:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, Snapchat thought my double chin was a mouth. FML

by Weightlosshereicome / 08/08/2016 at 6:06am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I thought I'd save some money by doing my own electrical work. When I turned the power back on, it caught fire. FML

by chewsef / 08/08/2016 at 11:22pm / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.