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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML

#21250795
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (4738)

On 09/02/2014 at 9:35pm - health - by Gee... Thanks (man) -

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32849) - you deserved it (2711)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (4487)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
145 comments

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (7316)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML

#21251280
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (3106)

On 09/03/2014 at 5:30pm - health - by svenska75 (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34892) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (3358)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30863) - you deserved it (2601)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (13126)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15322) - you deserved it (34884)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17502) - you deserved it (35600)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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