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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23229) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

#21443311
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11223) - you deserved it (26515)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:31am - misc - by MerryDeathmas - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

#21448401
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16210) - you deserved it (1770)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25117) - you deserved it (3440)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

#21445936
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (2272)

On 07/23/2015 at 11:07am - health - by rhcpgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa still receives more mail than me. He's been dead for three years. FML

#21442079
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (2280)

On 07/15/2015 at 2:06pm - misc - by lesousterre - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother told me to, "Stop bitching and get over it" after I complained of pain from my stomach after invasive surgery. This from the guy who spends multiple hours a day playing Halo and whining about the stupid ways he got killed. FML

#21445196
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (1671)

On 07/21/2015 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

#21447515
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (2286)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:29pm - misc - by arch maester shavayalsharashion (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, my bosses were boasting about their work-funded retreat, including the $1,800 bottle of wine the company paid for. This would be fine if they hadn't just told me there are no funds to pay me for the work they've got me doing. We are also the biggest company in our industry. FML

#21440819
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (1600)

On 07/13/2015 at 1:06am - work - by Wolfrunner87 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

#21446038
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (2660)

On 07/23/2015 at 2:28pm - animals - by killjoyx - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received my replacement debit card in the mail after losing my previous one. I've already lost my new one. FML

#21447012
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10066) - you deserved it (24165)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:55pm - money - by Again (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

#21447671
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (1420)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:47pm - health - by GreatParenting (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14082) - you deserved it (1201)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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