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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (2928)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

#21253019
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42976) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by StillPissedOffAtIrony (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (3370)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43557) - you deserved it (4355)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36240) - you deserved it (2686)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (8023)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML

#21256247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (11575)

On 09/11/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by ayeayeboy19 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33794) - you deserved it (2815)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (3138)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (3069)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

#21255144
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (6749)

On 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (15984)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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Friday 19 September 2014

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