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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (4729)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29742) - you deserved it (10251)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43280) - you deserved it (2951)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32136) - you deserved it (9563)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29327) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34648) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35279) - you deserved it (3014)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38245) - you deserved it (3067)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

#21282362
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30314) - you deserved it (2262)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

#21276337
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (4916)

On 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (4374)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)



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  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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