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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

#21458628
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (4694)

On 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the motorcycle I paid cash for was an illegal import. My plates are canceled, I have to turn in the bike for it to be destroyed, and the seller has vanished off the face of the planet. FML

#21458311
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (3945)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:48am - misc - by fmymouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

#21462044
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (1214)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

#21458879
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20888) - you deserved it (5604)

On 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm - health - by fuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (5214)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

#21462353
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9672) - you deserved it (576)

On 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by bornfromhillbillies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16204) - you deserved it (2949)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

#21460870
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18159) - you deserved it (8066)

On 08/26/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (2040)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (2044)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12397) - you deserved it (1220)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

#21461256
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (1955)

On 08/27/2015 at 6:56am - health - by jack - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

#21461075
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19150) - you deserved it (1321)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm - kids - by tortureromoretorture - United States (New York)



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