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July 2016

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Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML

by budadepressed / 07/18/2016 at 5:22pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 2:40am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my daughter decided to drench our carpets with water, to "make them grow like plants". She's 9. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 1:20pm / United States / Kids

Today, I had the option of choosing a train or a plane to get to my destination. The train was cheaper but took 4 hours longer, so I picked the plane. My flight was delayed, so I essentially paid more to arrive later. FML

Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 6:01pm / Love

Today, my new futon mattress arrived. Upon laying it out on the frame, I realized IKEA has whack bed sizings. When I went to return the mattress for a queen, they informed me a queen mattress wouldn't be here until sometime next week. I already threw out my old crappy mattress. FML

by staceyymaee / 07/06/2016 at 1:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to make a choice between being kept awake by the heat, or the cackling seagulls outside my window. I still don't know what's worse. FML

Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 12:14am / United States (Montana) / Transportation

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my dad didn't mention he had just aired up the tire on my van and that it might have a hole in it. It wasn't flat when I left the house but it sure as hell was when it exploded, not even a mile down the road. FML

by ThanksForTheWarningDad / 07/22/2016 at 7:09am / United States (Nebraska) / Transportation

Today, is my one day off for the week. My mother in law is visiting, and has decided we need to rearrange my living room. FML

by tiredmomma / 07/21/2016 at 5:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was heading out for my flight to Australia. I'd put a padlock on my luggage to keep my wallet and passport safe, only to realize way too late that I'd left the key at home. I couldn't get at my passport and ended up missing my flight and my whole vacation along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML

by fuckit / 07/23/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous