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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a discussion, my boyfriend said, "I think it's time you found somebody better." After I gave him a look, he continued, "For me." FML

#21394512
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26994) - you deserved it (2323)

On 04/16/2015 at 3:59am - love - by Marona (woman) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17131) - you deserved it (2459)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (3335)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

#21395274
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (1582)

On 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

#21398482
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (2341)

On 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

#21386816
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (7580)

On 04/03/2015 at 12:37am - work - by eaglesmile - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25541) - you deserved it (1849)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

#21390441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you deserved it (2353)

On 04/09/2015 at 2:25am - misc - by ifeelsoloved (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

#21385304
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (3298)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:37am - work - by Sam - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23980) - you deserved it (1876)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

#21399506
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (1544)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

#21387075
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (3290)

On 04/03/2015 at 3:05pm - misc - by HtotheFtotheS - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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