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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (6153)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

#21396530
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (3389)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by notmysistersbf (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (3214)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML

#21398217
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (4722)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by englishornah (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (9210)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML

#21399187
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (2034)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by Caroline1812 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

#21398967
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (1780)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

#21386179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (2098)

On 04/01/2015 at 10:04pm - work - by QueenCee - United States (California)

Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

#21386064
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (2086)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by dumbbus - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25111) - you deserved it (4645)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25540) - you deserved it (1849)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)



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