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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

#21293180
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:53am - work - by HelpMe1 (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

#21299775
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (2663)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm - misc - by SeaBind - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32281) - you deserved it (2300)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, I was really excited to get a new bank account in my name. My parents wanted me to have it so they could transfer money from mine to theirs and vice versa. What excited me less was my father drunkenly accessing it and taking all my cash. FML

#21305033
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (2847)

On 11/24/2014 at 7:40am - money - by ugh - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40742) - you deserved it (3492)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

#21291542
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (4687)

On 11/03/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30121) - you deserved it (6211)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

#21294808
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20351) - you deserved it (26345)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:33pm - health - by thatsureshowedme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (1803)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30529) - you deserved it (2679)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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