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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

#21436862
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21486) - you deserved it (5926)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

#21446728
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11929) - you deserved it (22274)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:59pm - work - by suspended (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

#21439963
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21459) - you deserved it (2885)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:44am - misc - by annoyedgf -

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

#21440033
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (2484)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm - misc - by whymomwhy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

#21447742
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (2078)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by wot02 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17680) - you deserved it (1254)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

#21446894
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9699) - you deserved it (17174)

On 07/25/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by elovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." 2 hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML

#21446551
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (4485)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Northern Mariana Islands

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

#21443362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (8703)

On 07/18/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by supersmashpika (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

#21443781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (1819)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by padthaimeanoose - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (2286)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)



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