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July 2016

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Today, my boyfriend and I decided to stop by a drive-thru on the way to his place. I asked him to order a Coke for me, at which point he asked if I wanted to make it a Diet Coke. FML

by goldendarkness / 07/08/2016 at 9:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my favorite pizza place will no longer deliver to my area after dark because they've been robbed too many times. FML

by quackers / 07/08/2016 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2016 at 12:33pm / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend I'll be moving to a different state in a few months for a new job. He now refers to me as his "girlfriend for now". FML

by mulligan / 07/07/2016 at 1:38pm / United States / Love

Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 6:09pm / Work

Today, I got pulled over and was given a ticket because my exhaust was too loud. I got this ticket while on my way to get said exhaust fixed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 5:22pm / Transportation

Today, a girl on my Snapchat list posted a story asking for anybody who was awake to talk to her. Me being awake, I took her up on the request. Her response? "Sorry I didn't mean you." FML

by snowmon06 / 07/10/2016 at 12:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML

by jelrid / 07/13/2016 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I biked to the lake. And by "to" I mean "into". With my phone in my jacket and my laptop in my backpack. FML

by Midion / 07/11/2016 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Transportation

Today, while I selling merch at a festival, a volunteer lost her toenail. Not only did she immediately show me, but she then took a picture and showed everyone coming up to my station. I lost sales because she wouldn't leave. FML

by grosstoenail / 07/13/2016 at 1:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I put some leggings on and I was feeling pretty good about how well they fit since I've been trying to slim down. Then I noticed the tag. Not only are they a size larger than I usually wear, but I also stretched them so badly that "Spandex" is now two words. FML

Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML

by wellthen / 07/12/2016 at 5:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floorrrrr. FML

by married to a bipedal husky / 07/12/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Florida) / Love