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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20146) - you deserved it (8760)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

#21414249
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (2130)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15770) - you deserved it (26834)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (4187)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my little sister knocking on my door. Today's my birthday, so I thought she'd surprise me with something. Instead, she just asked me, "How's it feel to be a year older and still alone?" I just turned 20. The truth hurts. FML

Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML

#21414242
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20170) - you deserved it (1835)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm - misc - by A - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

#21412386
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (4309)

On 05/19/2015 at 2:45am - intimacy - by username - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

#21406178
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (6249)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

#21408702
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25830) - you deserved it (1771)

On 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

#21406019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (4824)

On 05/07/2015 at 1:12am - work - by CASH_NoMOMEY - United States (California)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29196) - you deserved it (4283)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12857) - you deserved it (28654)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

#21406350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (2239)

On 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm - love - by alaina2001 - United States (Ohio)



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