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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

#21280619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27113) - you deserved it (10783)

On 10/18/2014 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16201) - you deserved it (1926)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35074) - you deserved it (4347)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

#21273773
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (2266)

On 10/08/2014 at 8:30pm - work - by xRyu (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36781) - you deserved it (4125)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (2354)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28280) - you deserved it (3311)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20447) - you deserved it (1585)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (3038)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33873) - you deserved it (2418)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that I have been promised for the last two years because, I "don't suffer idiots well." Idiots. FML

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35150) - you deserved it (2716)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark



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