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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42197) - you deserved it (5568)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

#21229931
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35594) - you deserved it (3240)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

#21240784
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (7593)

On 08/19/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by morgie96 - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

#21230826
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35709) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:34am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia

Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML

#21228437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35274) - you deserved it (3724)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my husband told his parents that he was quitting his job so that he could focus on school. They asked him what he was going to do for money. When I told them that I'd be the one working, they took one look at me and burst into laughter. FML

#21230924
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39327) - you deserved it (3593)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (3081)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I received the $30 parking pass that I ordered over 4 weeks ago. My class is only 4 weeks long, and next week is the last week. FML

#21226277
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33982) - you deserved it (3410)

On 07/31/2014 at 10:50pm - misc - by RiceSickle (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

#21243667
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30096) - you deserved it (20554)

On 08/23/2014 at 8:28am - work - by in big trouble - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (7332)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I posted an ad online for house cleaning services. So far, all fifteen responses have been solicitations for sex. FML

#21229459
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33534) - you deserved it (3612)

On 08/04/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by notthenaughtymaid (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37514) - you deserved it (2886)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)



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Monday 18 August 2014

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