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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

#21334864
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (6363)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (4306)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

#21336949
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (7185)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm - love - by ihateeverything (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was on a dating website. He came up as an ideal match for my sister. FML

#21333814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (2494)

On 01/09/2015 at 7:06am - love - by ohdearyme - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML

#21333682
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (2163)

On 01/08/2015 at 11:40pm - work - by notahero (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

#21340977
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (7863)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:16pm - love - by FootInMouth - South Africa

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

#21339220
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (7283)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:45pm - misc - by Help Me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

#21340847
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (2276)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:23am - work - by klaatu barada nikto (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

#21330412
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:46am - work - by gothicvamp93 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

#21337533
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30097) - you deserved it (4579)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

#21332650
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (2331)

On 01/07/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML

Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML



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  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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