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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

#21271247
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39312) - you deserved it (2490)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:48pm - health - by Eww - United States (Oregon)

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

#21270236
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (5131)

On 10/03/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

#21279849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35468) - you deserved it (3508)

On 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by katsaysner - United States (Maine)

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

#21272079
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (11565)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by eh - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33523) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35437) - you deserved it (2152)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

#21270463
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (9658)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

#21284646
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35353) - you deserved it (2375)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

#21287120
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (1953)

On 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37773) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

#21288043
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

#21285216
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29433) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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