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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML

#21409745
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26493) - you deserved it (2930)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by PrinceOfBritain - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

#21407053
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/09/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by sarahmaxine - United States (Nevada)

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

#21413064
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (1418)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by kmctl - United States (California)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29063) - you deserved it (4272)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

#21406178
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28321) - you deserved it (6239)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

#21413299
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (1537)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm - work - by stilljobless (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a while after finishing and uploading a task, I looked at my peers' work to make sure I hadn't missed anything in mine. One of them had gotten the same idea and had decided to incorporate part of my work into his. "Part" as in "all". "All" as in all of his work is also all of mine. FML

#21409245
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (2105)

On 05/12/2015 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

#21413424
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (3921)

On 05/21/2015 at 6:48am - work - by pgmonster - United States (California)

Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML

#21407465
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (2051)

On 05/09/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by yapDogs (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated 2 years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

#21407028
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27125) - you deserved it (1958)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

#21408702
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25705) - you deserved it (1771)

On 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

#21413003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (1753)

On 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Cyprus (Paphos)

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (2322)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)



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