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June 2016

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Today, I went to pick my dog up from my old house where my ex-boyfriend still lives. I rang the doorbell and saw him look out of the side window holding the dog. When I told him I was there for my dog, he claimed that the dog was his now. He broke up with me because he hates dogs. FML

by codyolimason / 06/08/2016 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they 'thought I would be lonely'. I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

by notsoaloneanymore / 06/17/2016 at 12:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got a job at a casino where I was actually planning on spending my 21st birthday next month. After they hired me, they told me no employees are allowed to play or gamble on or off the clock, for as long as they are employed there, or termination will immediately follow. FML

by bshoemaker45601 / 06/08/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, after spending $850 on having our siding, roof and windows powerwashed, a 5-minute storm blew the siding clear off the house. FML

by caryl101698 / 06/08/2016 at 9:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

by windsoffate / 06/09/2016 at 12:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my mom took away my car, phone, dog, laptop and college fund because I told her she lets me down sometimes. I'm moving to Arizona for college in two weeks. FML

by sounds good mom / 06/14/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

by wtf / 06/16/2016 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone finally came to fix my phone line after three weeks with no Internet. The engineer reconnected the phone line to the wrong apartment. I hope my neighbour is enjoying my unlimited broadband. FML

by caggybandicoot / 06/17/2016 at 10:37pm / United Kingdom (Torbay) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I felt cold while driving, so I blasted the heat. The one thing I didn't expect was a load of tiny spiders spilling out of the vents and writhing all over my dash. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 1:43pm / Animals

Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML

by mild banana / 06/16/2016 at 12:55pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, five minutes into a first date with a woman I really wanted to impress, we got on to a very busy train. I was so concerned with making sure that my backpack didn't get caught in the closing doors that I forgot to worry about my head. FML

by dannidoll93 / 06/15/2016 at 7:56am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my bratty sister shoved me overboard during a boat ride. Not ten seconds after being pulled back on board, I got an earful of abuse from my parents. My sister is the family favorite and they refuse to believe that I didn't "provoke" her. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 11:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my job as a supervisor has become increasingly ridiculous because one employee doesn't want to do the tasks I give her. My supervisor tells me to keep working with her and giving her work. When she goes directly to him, he tells her she doesn't have to do them. FML

by crackie / 06/16/2016 at 1:45pm / Korea, Republic of / Work