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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33618) - you deserved it (3270)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

#21234971
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44612) - you deserved it (3285)

On 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm - work - by poorman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38492) - you deserved it (2575)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38884) - you deserved it (6076)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (13177)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19983) - you deserved it (44466)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML.

#21228356
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (5414)

On 08/03/2014 at 11:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38393) - you deserved it (9024)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13220) - you deserved it (28393)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (2778)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45794) - you deserved it (3153)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32197) - you deserved it (2832)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)



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