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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (2038)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (3534)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43815) - you deserved it (5135)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37335) - you deserved it (3245)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (2609)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35476) - you deserved it (22054)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35835) - you deserved it (3234)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

#21194486
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40211) - you deserved it (4847)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - love - by mymumdidntloveme - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I moved fifteen stacks of bricks from our store to a customer's van. After I made all that effort, he decided he didn't like the colour of the bricks after all, and demanded a full refund. FML

#21197488
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43867) - you deserved it (3175)

On 07/03/2014 at 3:49pm - misc - by starflares (man) - Denmark (Centre)

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (5327)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

#21197152
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (24606)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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