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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the airport a full three hours before my flight departure time just to be on the safe side. I ended up having the best nap of my life and missing my flight. FML

#21407249
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (8877)

On 05/09/2015 at 1:13pm - misc - by Rar (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we wouldn't move in together as we had planned to do for a long time. His mother forbade it. He is 27. FML

#21407402
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (2560)

On 05/09/2015 at 7:03pm - love - by forever alone (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (2100)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

#21413750
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6870) - you deserved it (496)

On 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm - money - by FrickingBusDrivers (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML

#21409756
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (1802)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by iamgodzilla (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother yelled at me, telling me I'm irresponsible and lecturing me on how I need to "plan ahead like an adult." All because I asked to borrow a tampon. FML

#21408920
131 comments

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

#21406350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29457) - you deserved it (2239)

On 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm - love - by alaina2001 - United States (Ohio)

Today, after getting my dream job and quitting old one, I was told my position is strictly "experimental" and will only last 2 months. FML

#21411308
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/17/2015 at 2:31am - work - by fuckkkkk - United States (California)

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15761) - you deserved it (26801)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (4149)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML

#21409745
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26358) - you deserved it (2926)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by PrinceOfBritain - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML

#21407053
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (1796)

On 05/09/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by sarahmaxine - United States (Nevada)

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

#21413064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (1244)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by kmctl - United States (California)



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

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