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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

#21269342
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (31007)

On 10/02/2014 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (6562)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (5452)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (2505)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (2384)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33981) - you deserved it (3179)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37986) - you deserved it (3878)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (5559)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32568) - you deserved it (4907)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37849) - you deserved it (3050)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (3319)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)



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