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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

#21406331
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16477) - you deserved it (24150)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm - money - by NevertheKool (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

#21411404
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (5971)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:05am - health - by no more flips - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32281) - you deserved it (2437)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

#21406759
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25581) - you deserved it (3227)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

#21409404
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (2607)

On 05/13/2015 at 9:57am - health - by Hlaalette (woman) - Belgium

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

#21408482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25581) - you deserved it (1965)

On 05/11/2015 at 4:54pm - work - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29006) - you deserved it (2357)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I planned a lunch out with my mom for Mother's Day. She seemed excited about it and "couldn't wait!" She never showed up. FML

#21407958
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (1780)

On 05/10/2015 at 6:08pm - misc - by weirdlaugh (woman) - United States

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

#21409927
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (3528)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:41am - money - by sparkyjaf - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (1452)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (1444)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17691) - you deserved it (7681)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States



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