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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41527) - you deserved it (4934)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36875) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

#21232320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (11181)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:40am - love - by alisaav (woman) - Thailand

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36566) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (48748)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (33899)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33622) - you deserved it (13664)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42394) - you deserved it (4182)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46059) - you deserved it (3154)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37987) - you deserved it (3162)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39146) - you deserved it (4856)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

#21227050
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (3252)

On 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (37896)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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