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February 2015

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Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31785) - you deserved it (3855)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30114) - you deserved it (2634)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (6540)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (4065)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML

#21352876
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25619) - you deserved it (4851)

On 02/09/2015 at 6:07pm - kids - by brazo667 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32948) - you deserved it (3375)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (4717)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

#21352870
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24569) - you deserved it (9427)

On 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm - work - by tirf -

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (5535)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32492) - you deserved it (7772)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)



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