Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54992) - you deserved it (5159) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37562) - you deserved it (19117)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49182) - you deserved it (4148)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39370) - you deserved it (4834)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46099) - you deserved it (5731)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49621) - you deserved it (3626)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35462) - you deserved it (17280)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (23222)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52015) - you deserved it (6583)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49894) - you deserved it (4173)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47671) - you deserved it (4170)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42086) - you deserved it (3369)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: