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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (6139)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33373) - you deserved it (6738)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (6489)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29315) - you deserved it (5828)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (9969)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

#21341221
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (4205)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm - kids - by frozenpoo - United States

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

#21334677
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (2435)

On 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm - kids - by SadSister:( - United States

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26761) - you deserved it (6006)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (6090)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

#21334376
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42815) - you deserved it (2731)

On 01/10/2015 at 8:45am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38458) - you deserved it (2199)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (2167)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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