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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

#21300362
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24839) - you deserved it (5175)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41599) - you deserved it (6437)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42024) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (8358)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34226) - you deserved it (4381)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (29938)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (3315)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30761) - you deserved it (3496)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (3287)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32968) - you deserved it (6285)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27235) - you deserved it (7736)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (3482)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)



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