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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36452) - you deserved it (3764)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53620) - you deserved it (6510)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (39496)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (12776)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

#21090716
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/19/2014 at 8:28am - work - by pale-suzie (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (2649)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

#21081418
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38594) - you deserved it (7138)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm - animals - by chuchundra (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49545) - you deserved it (8901)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45557) - you deserved it (6476)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (32522)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)



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