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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

#21093699
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43119) - you deserved it (5600)

On 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42874) - you deserved it (3429)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

#21076482
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31623) - you deserved it (8655)

On 03/03/2014 at 12:18am - misc - by ealovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

#21080680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55845) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37068) - you deserved it (6252)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (5797)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

#21096245
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (50038)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by testacular (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37133) - you deserved it (4275)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

#21092678
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45020) - you deserved it (3969)

On 03/21/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

#21100140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44655) - you deserved it (3920)

On 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by starfishedasshole (man) - United States

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43735) - you deserved it (6365)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)



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