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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39413) - you deserved it (3989)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (5890)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

#21093699
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43172) - you deserved it (5606)

On 03/22/2014 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (3432)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43787) - you deserved it (6369)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

#21076482
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (8664)

On 03/03/2014 at 12:18am - misc - by ealovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

#21080680
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56065) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37807) - you deserved it (6355)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37798) - you deserved it (4344)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (19585)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband actually tried to pay me to forget about the affair that he's been having. FML

#21092678
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45065) - you deserved it (3975)

On 03/21/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)



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