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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (6700)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57821) - you deserved it (4916)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (4255)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44223) - you deserved it (5322)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML

#21074608
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48696) - you deserved it (3928)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46044) - you deserved it (13585)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42544) - you deserved it (4296)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (5112)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44680) - you deserved it (4969)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45038) - you deserved it (3996)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41638) - you deserved it (4478)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)



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