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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54197) - you deserved it (6553)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46181) - you deserved it (5021)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42345) - you deserved it (3454)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45889) - you deserved it (6552)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45836) - you deserved it (24213)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45293) - you deserved it (7368)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47074) - you deserved it (4026)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43415) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44852) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

#21084790
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (5107)

On 03/12/2014 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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