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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43204) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (5538)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38516) - you deserved it (4785)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42651) - you deserved it (14691)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48216) - you deserved it (2837)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (5511)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56559) - you deserved it (3287)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

#20960536
70 comments

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (3656)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (81245)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30810) - you deserved it (44822)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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