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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40422) - you deserved it (4457)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48956) - you deserved it (17686)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (36725)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34674) - you deserved it (3807)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39554) - you deserved it (6267)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (85367)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62744) - you deserved it (4599)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (3891)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (2817)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50318) - you deserved it (5233)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44536) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44683) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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