Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (16905)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40359) - you deserved it (4992)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (5521)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46682) - you deserved it (5123)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15926) - you deserved it (64022)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44177) - you deserved it (3313)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45138) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (4193)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (5577)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44040) - you deserved it (2673)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41364) - you deserved it (2733)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: