Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46803) - you deserved it (5339)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44683) - you deserved it (3345)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (17596)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41188) - you deserved it (3634)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41279) - you deserved it (4548)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

#20975692
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48312) - you deserved it (3413)

On 11/30/2013 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (47009)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

#20947778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43980) - you deserved it (4621)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39691) - you deserved it (6279)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65220) - you deserved it (4834)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: