Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40650) - you deserved it (8203)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you deserved it (88066)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41432) - you deserved it (3901)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

#20972385
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60364) - you deserved it (9037)

On 11/27/2013 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21191) - you deserved it (42826)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41423) - you deserved it (5186)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42005) - you deserved it (5216)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (37084)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (3815)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51099) - you deserved it (5288)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46780) - you deserved it (5337)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: