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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67783) - you deserved it (4694)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57118) - you deserved it (7199)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (3338)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44332) - you deserved it (8126)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44635) - you deserved it (3685)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

#20957769
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38133) - you deserved it (2817)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (6041)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (89208)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43235) - you deserved it (4096)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45210) - you deserved it (11132)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46015) - you deserved it (11280)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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