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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43763) - you deserved it (10676)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42254) - you deserved it (7771)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67548) - you deserved it (4673)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54521) - you deserved it (6903)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55404) - you deserved it (4063)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43476) - you deserved it (3571)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41338) - you deserved it (3895)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41317) - you deserved it (5171)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36584) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50981) - you deserved it (5281)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML



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