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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39187) - you deserved it (2296)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48100) - you deserved it (4643)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (3058)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (3452)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35354) - you deserved it (3147)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42241) - you deserved it (5633)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (4285)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20160) - you deserved it (40867)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41724) - you deserved it (2775)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22068) - you deserved it (35004)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (3364)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62880) - you deserved it (3792)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom



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