Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43965) - you deserved it (2493)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55615) - you deserved it (8452)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

#20967193
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59743) - you deserved it (5539)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44131) - you deserved it (2306)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42049) - you deserved it (12680)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44395) - you deserved it (3456)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45963) - you deserved it (3799)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42108) - you deserved it (7756)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66658) - you deserved it (4619)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55313) - you deserved it (4056)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44946) - you deserved it (6909)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

#20957769
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (2681)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

#20968767
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (5859)

On 11/24/2013 at 7:30am - misc - by TetrisMaster - Australia



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: