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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43844) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39149) - you deserved it (11180)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

#20950992
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50687) - you deserved it (3561)

On 11/09/2013 at 12:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34475) - you deserved it (2861)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50331) - you deserved it (4470)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43953) - you deserved it (3437)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44248) - you deserved it (2637)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

#20961108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40739) - you deserved it (5321)

On 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40259) - you deserved it (3370)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

#20960650
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (3974)

On 11/17/2013 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (2799)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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