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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42829) - you deserved it (11110)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (5402)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (10256)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41433) - you deserved it (4540)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

#20972428
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (3977)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by paranoid neighborhood - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (3103)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38103) - you deserved it (9385)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47410) - you deserved it (3932)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39311) - you deserved it (11221)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

#20947507
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34628) - you deserved it (21085)

On 11/06/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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