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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (9542)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44938) - you deserved it (4205)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

#20948176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (32302)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54305) - you deserved it (3203)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (6335)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51802) - you deserved it (6442)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38027) - you deserved it (3323)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

#20968993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38685) - you deserved it (4035)

On 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (10209)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43259) - you deserved it (3493)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)



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