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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38785) - you deserved it (4342)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

#20965369
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (6406)

On 11/21/2013 at 1:00am - love - by StarWarsGeek (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49946) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43699) - you deserved it (3190)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37454) - you deserved it (6350)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

#20948176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24697) - you deserved it (32392)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37717) - you deserved it (9565)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44056) - you deserved it (3138)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54652) - you deserved it (6818)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44274) - you deserved it (3595)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42791) - you deserved it (11107)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, the guy I like shoved me out of the way so he could talk to another girl. FML

#20964674
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50704) - you deserved it (4818)

On 11/20/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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