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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36577) - you deserved it (17404)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

#20931509
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (4398)

On 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by monsterdanceman (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48313) - you deserved it (3295)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (4905)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34900) - you deserved it (29516)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42200) - you deserved it (10430)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30231) - you deserved it (15998)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39707) - you deserved it (3216)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47094) - you deserved it (3900)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

#20926020
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (5849)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:30am - love - by AchievementUnlocked? - United States

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46464) - you deserved it (3799)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47595) - you deserved it (2847)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)



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