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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

#20925665
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44714) - you deserved it (4667) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by Huedadaa - France (Picardie)

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41941) - you deserved it (4474)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (5883)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43866) - you deserved it (3149)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41397) - you deserved it (5073)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (6361)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43181) - you deserved it (14051)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52129) - you deserved it (5652)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44511) - you deserved it (4993)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

#20932403
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (25279)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53078) - you deserved it (4840)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43853) - you deserved it (3462)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML



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