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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36180) - you deserved it (30314)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42425) - you deserved it (10477)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36753) - you deserved it (17458)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51479) - you deserved it (4782)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48986) - you deserved it (3350)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (14258)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (3234)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47358) - you deserved it (3911)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48474) - you deserved it (3992)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49707) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)



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