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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57614) - you deserved it (3293)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52422) - you deserved it (9216)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56720) - you deserved it (3310)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41296) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (2589)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56230) - you deserved it (3755)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43376) - you deserved it (3808)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47319) - you deserved it (7744)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39519) - you deserved it (2959)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42947) - you deserved it (3599)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39693) - you deserved it (3098)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48381) - you deserved it (16272)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

#20925665
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43681) - you deserved it (4558) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by Huedadaa - France (Picardie)



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