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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44588) - you deserved it (5627)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46721) - you deserved it (5564)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (91443)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56928) - you deserved it (3318)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48550) - you deserved it (3995)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45751) - you deserved it (20265)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

#20935542
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57667) - you deserved it (5517)

On 10/27/2013 at 11:26am - intimacy - by SharkWeek (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47348) - you deserved it (3526)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49528) - you deserved it (6762)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43538) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

#20909114
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (6902)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44101) - you deserved it (9821)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (42896)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan



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