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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43394) - you deserved it (7303)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41685) - you deserved it (9345)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46884) - you deserved it (6535)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45863) - you deserved it (12441)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49639) - you deserved it (5652)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47979) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46800) - you deserved it (5061)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43091) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42575) - you deserved it (6732)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43193) - you deserved it (5477)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you deserved it (24590)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49093) - you deserved it (8406)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (6343)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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