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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45734) - you deserved it (15226)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49408) - you deserved it (5337)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48352) - you deserved it (13155)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51168) - you deserved it (5825)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56925) - you deserved it (5382)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44585) - you deserved it (3310)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45246) - you deserved it (8222)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55917) - you deserved it (9731)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38046) - you deserved it (12784)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49822) - you deserved it (3195)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47087) - you deserved it (6550)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)



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