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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57859) - you deserved it (4614)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46668) - you deserved it (3673)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42440) - you deserved it (11469)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37477) - you deserved it (40479)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37749) - you deserved it (8983)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46300) - you deserved it (5238)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45285) - you deserved it (5448)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53737) - you deserved it (6462)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52222) - you deserved it (3521)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex with my wife, my Candy Crush addiction hit me full force, and all I could do was think about possible moves I could make in the level I'm stuck on. FML

#20890032
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (45840)

On 09/21/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by CandyCrushAddict (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (4612)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38534) - you deserved it (3721)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (3051)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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