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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49226) - you deserved it (4726)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41012) - you deserved it (6418)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (4897)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (2848)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60821) - you deserved it (4858)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51278) - you deserved it (7272)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43495) - you deserved it (9849)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (7022)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (12709)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
166 comments

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (36371)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States



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