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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46533) - you deserved it (3667)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (6701)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (11054)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (40380)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45157) - you deserved it (5433)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (4434)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (3710)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42005) - you deserved it (5345)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (3091)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML



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