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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

#20871412
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52592) - you deserved it (3513)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by /(•'_'•)\ (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46366) - you deserved it (5249)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58420) - you deserved it (3405)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (3531)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (91230)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (19416)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you deserved it (17131)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54118) - you deserved it (6159)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66705) - you deserved it (7207)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49148) - you deserved it (3875)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

#20871260
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53959) - you deserved it (4617)

On 09/07/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by ...thanks (woman) - United States

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

#20870447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52004) - you deserved it (4080)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm - health - by what's a rimjob between friends? (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (68177)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)



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