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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36822) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44962) - you deserved it (12465)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34644) - you deserved it (2771)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48243) - you deserved it (3039)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42562) - you deserved it (5597)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (12086)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39588) - you deserved it (6686)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
117 comments

Today, I couldn't sleep due to an awful head cold, so I stayed home from work. Apparently, the local high school marching band practices in the park across the street at 9am. They're doing the Imperial March music from Star Wars. They suck. FML

#20867437
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40338) - you deserved it (3145)

On 09/04/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by lostinspace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 years. FML

#20875969
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56376) - you deserved it (3257)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)



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