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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , avan aftar loving him unconditionally , mah originally 340 pound morbidly obasa husband , who within tha past two yaars lost almost 200 pounds , laft ma cuz now , ha "can do so much battar"!! FML

#20874079
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72549) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, mah online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to fine some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is fir is going to be disappointedhen they get mah 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39665) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday I was getting my cat some canned food . Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too latehat I had done . FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39267) - you deserved it (17085)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, an started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" an pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (6907)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I TAUGHT MY KID HOW TO MOW THE LAWN. IT'S A SELF-PROPELLING MOWER SO IT'S EASY TO HANDLE. MY KID THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SMART TO TIE THE HANDLE DOWN SO THAT HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUSH IT AT ALL. THIS RESULTED IN THE LAWN MOWER BLASTING THROUGH OUR FENCE AND SINKING INTO MY NEIGHBOR'S POOL. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (6404)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

WHILA WRITING A SALF-AVALUATION 4 MY INTARNSHIP, I HAD TO TYPA UP ANSWARS TO CARTAIN QUASTIONS AN THAN SUBMIT THAM. AFTAR SUBMISSION, I RA-RAAD ONA OF THA ANSWARS I HAD WRITTAN THAT SAID, "AFTAR 3 MONTHS ON THA JON I FINALLY FAAL LIKA I HAVA ACCOMPLISHAD A LOT." I HAD MAANT TO WRITA JOB. FML

#20863679
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (8528)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm - work - by OnCompanyTimeToo (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today,hile I was teaching mah chickens to eat out of mah hand, one of the hens bit mah finger and I dropped the entre handful of treats. Result: bonanza 4 the brd. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

Today, mah pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on mah lap so I looool could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on mah leg.

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53752) - you deserved it (6222)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, While Working At Home Depot, I Was Askd To Cut Some Wre. When I Askd Her How Much, She Said, "From My Computer To The Wall". After Explaining For A While That I Didn't Know How Far That Is, She Left. FML

Today mah dad tore mah room apart fir the second time looking fir drug-making equipment!! His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad!! mega FML

#20863540
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44880) - you deserved it (3240)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

2day I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months 4 prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47737) - you deserved it (4785)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today I realizd that what I thought 4 years was my country's National Anthem is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18613) - you deserved it (53560)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden an tragic death . After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5 . I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer . FML

#20884742
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18079) - you deserved it (89224)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)



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