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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

#20864245
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39645) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/02/2013 at 7:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (5043)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

#20870423
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (42313)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by howprofessional (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44484) - you deserved it (3609)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, my dad and I had a yelling match about me "lying", because I was unable to contact iTunes support without a phone number. To prove a point, he went online to find the phone number. It's been an hour and he's still searching for the number. I can't leave the table until he has found it. FML

#20891277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39032) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/22/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by SeriouslyDad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "mom" while at work. FML

#20901049
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35045) - you deserved it (2444)

On 09/29/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47927) - you deserved it (3557)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

Today, minutes before I walked down the aisle at my wedding, my drunk mother stumbled up to me and told me she was depressed and wanted to leave. FML

#20897339
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by notnow - United States

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44033) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38039) - you deserved it (3178)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (2847)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

#20869986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42997) - you deserved it (2457)

On 09/06/2013 at 8:10am - misc - by theblackrose23 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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