Choose the period

All time / Top of the month / Top of the week / Top of the day
September 2013

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 10:56pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

by hairy / 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

by Retarded / 09/05/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I hit a new low in my financial troubles when I left my work to retrieve twenty-five cents after seeing someone drop it across the street. FML

by collegebroke / 09/22/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

by laundry day again... / 09/08/2013 at 9:07am / United States / Love

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

by me / 09/22/2013 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

by some people... / 09/19/2013 at 1:35am / United States / Work

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

by drunkenloser / 09/20/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Health

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

by areyoukiddingme / 09/07/2013 at 12:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML

by Sean / 09/09/2013 at 5:04pm / United States / Money

Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my grandma threw away my clear retainer thinking it was plastic from packaging. She has done this three times now. They cost 300 dollars to replace. FML

by peacechick71 / 09/22/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

by ahuman / 09/29/2013 at 1:10am / United States / Kids