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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66672) - you deserved it (4013)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

#20833982
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45683) - you deserved it (4074)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by idonteven - United States (California)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54370) - you deserved it (7128)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

#20837392
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (3656)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm - kids - by sisterly love - United States (California)

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46145) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44534) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (3671) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML

#20825465
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56244) - you deserved it (4927)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by shampoomice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

#20817414
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44348) - you deserved it (3972)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (5994)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (39490)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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