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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41864) - you deserved it (18240)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

#20819957
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49443) - you deserved it (4858)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:37am - love - by uniannonymous - United Kingdom (Merton)

Today, I went to see a therapist for help with my severe fear of spiders. The therapist held a big spider in a box inches away from my face. I ran to the back of the room and asked him why. He responded with, "Aren't therapists supposed to help you face your fears?" I'm paying $150 an hour. FML

#20846128
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38621) - you deserved it (7103)

On 08/20/2013 at 9:41am - health - by no that does not help (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

#20844606
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (6632)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - work - by oops (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet for hours after eating some questionable seafood. During this time, I watched through the open door as my dog destroyed the nice shoes I just bought, as well as the tux I rented for my sister's wedding. The wedding is in 12 hours. FML

#20833678
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42293) - you deserved it (6976)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:09pm - health - by notmansbestfriend (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

#20838843
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (60278)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

#20846337
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50335) - you deserved it (8549)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by LizzyJones - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML

#20845667
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (5041)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by nice guys finish last - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML

#20849629
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36894) - you deserved it (3144)

On 08/22/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by lord kuntface (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I mentioned on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending my grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killed her for the inheritance, eh?" followed by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43595) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after a long couple of months working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, and when I didn't show up for work, I had been fired. FML

#20859399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42629) - you deserved it (3304)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

#20840198
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/16/2013 at 11:21am - misc - by momma - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

#20857413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35538) - you deserved it (3144)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)



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