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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

#20830066
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (6698)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

#20836611
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (3778)

On 08/14/2013 at 2:41am - misc - by HoratioNo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18587) - you deserved it (38311)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML

#20829072
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (9586)

On 08/09/2013 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by whyyjustwhy - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48813) - you deserved it (4259)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the "life hack" where you empty out a bottle of lotion and hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd put the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

#20853767
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39794) - you deserved it (10024)

On 08/25/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

#20838843
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (64354)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

#20853995
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47787) - you deserved it (5084)

On 08/25/2013 at 5:36pm - work - by jeed(1) (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44516) - you deserved it (5226)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

#20851161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45133) - you deserved it (2977)

On 08/23/2013 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

#20862012
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43176) - you deserved it (3876)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

#20846310
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41575) - you deserved it (2855)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:18pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML

#20819891
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47570) - you deserved it (6639)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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