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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38168) - you deserved it (18220)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62464) - you deserved it (10822)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51735) - you deserved it (7635)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48973) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62094) - you deserved it (4892)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50121) - you deserved it (3693)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

#20805936
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58118) - you deserved it (4140)

On 07/27/2013 at 3:56am - love - by Immaculatedream (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42826) - you deserved it (3162)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18820) - you deserved it (58608)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41884) - you deserved it (3647)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39815) - you deserved it (4151)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59841) - you deserved it (6346)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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