Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60034) - you deserved it (7818)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

#20782878
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35936) - you deserved it (4612)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

#20788188
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45247) - you deserved it (3787)

On 07/17/2013 at 10:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42172) - you deserved it (4986)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50622) - you deserved it (3862)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (4404)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62536) - you deserved it (10847)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was eating cereal, my mother thought it would be appropriate to grab the bowl and start spoon-feeding me while making airplane noises, again. I'm 19. FML

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39956) - you deserved it (23386)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47914) - you deserved it (9973)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: