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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48082) - you deserved it (2766)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45113) - you deserved it (11608)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (2938)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML

#20800837
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38283) - you deserved it (3951)

On 07/24/2013 at 5:15am - work - by CapNCook (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

#20790603
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56811) - you deserved it (6055)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

#20799037
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44443) - you deserved it (3154)

On 07/23/2013 at 5:51am - love - by foreveralone (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my friend set up a profile for me on an adult dating site as a surprise. It was a surprise alright. The picture he set as my avatar was one of me stark naked, which I sent to my ex shortly before he dumped me. FML

#20794134
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (8749)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:43pm - misc - by .............. (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

#20790014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47243) - you deserved it (3199)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

#20802342
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55149) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/25/2013 at 1:47am - love - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

#20759632
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (2705)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:35am - work - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

#20765797
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (6752)

On 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML

#20800714
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42742) - you deserved it (4387)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:44am - health - by not_very_smart (woman) - United States



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