Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48981) - you deserved it (7118)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML

#20803510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42725) - you deserved it (3636)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:51pm - kids - by JealousBratMuch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

#20792771
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36440) - you deserved it (32836)

On 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by libraries are a girl's best friend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I've been bedridden for the past two weeks. My boyfriend casually remarked that he understands now why some people cheat on their seriously-ill partners. Thanks for adding to the stress, sweetie. FML

#20797672
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44632) - you deserved it (2996)

On 07/22/2013 at 2:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, one of my coworkers asked if I hated my life and was depressed because of how I look most of the time. This is just my facial expression. FML

#20802256
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37392) - you deserved it (4542)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:44am - work - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally gave away all of the stuffed animals that I've been hoarding for years. Proud, I told my family. They congratulated me by buying me stuffed animals. FML

#20812476
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (4470)

On 07/30/2013 at 11:06pm - misc - by TheSacredTeddyBear (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50053) - you deserved it (12147)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45082) - you deserved it (11604)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45412) - you deserved it (5087)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while jogging, a guy tackled me and got my iPhone. Being a good runner, I caught up with him and grabbed him. Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a policeman yelling in my ear. The guy got away. FML

#20764590
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51983) - you deserved it (3021)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was using the urinal when another guy came in. His friends decided to scare him while he was using the urinal next to mine. They jumped out at him, he turned around and ended up peeing all over me. FML

#20791582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48032) - you deserved it (2763)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:29am - misc - by the unfortunate man - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: