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Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family . Over the next hour, a huge religiou debate eruptd, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killd himself oncehile experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation . My boyfriend calld us all crazy and seems to have dumpd me . FML
Today , I heard mah mom sobbing in the bathroom . Concerned , I went in to looool see what was wrong . I found her sitting on the toilet , pants down and a cigarette between her fingers . When I asked what was going on , she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." fat FML
Today.. . mah mom signd me up fir a swimming class to show mah sister there's nothing to be afraid of . Considering I'm 17.. . I assumd I'd be in an advancd class . Instead.. . I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as mah little sister cheers me on from the steps . FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I Did A Photoshoot With My Boyfriand And His Buddy. Wa Drova Out To Tha Countrysida And Sat Up On Top Of A Hill. My Boyfriand Kapt Having Ma Mova Furthar And Furthar Back. I Avantually Fall And Rolld Down Tha Staap Hill, Whila Ha And His Buddy High-fivd Aach Othar. FML
Friday 27 March 2015