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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48008) - you deserved it (2553)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (48066)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56869) - you deserved it (3732)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48428) - you deserved it (5403)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

#20804901
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42439) - you deserved it (3348)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm - misc - by trailertrashyanditsucks (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

#20780355
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46835) - you deserved it (3684)

On 07/13/2013 at 5:10pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38391) - you deserved it (3124)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (3458)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66190) - you deserved it (3870)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43808) - you deserved it (4118)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

#20788678
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41842) - you deserved it (4286)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm - love - by fuck family (woman) - Poland (Dolnoslaskie)



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