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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

#20779978
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65047) - you deserved it (3784)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm - love - by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50176) - you deserved it (3446)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (7602)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
118 comments

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47326) - you deserved it (5517)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57499) - you deserved it (4907)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47397) - you deserved it (7990)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47017) - you deserved it (7789)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52418) - you deserved it (4062)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49357) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46619) - you deserved it (3803)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43552) - you deserved it (24595)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)



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