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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36532) - you deserved it (7090)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60524) - you deserved it (6232)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

#20730236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (11169)

On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68795) - you deserved it (6549)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48823) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81469) - you deserved it (5564)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to pee in my cat's litter box, just to avoid witnessing my mom having sex in the living room on my way to the bathroom. FML

#20702750
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72565) - you deserved it (5799)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (8675)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62245) - you deserved it (4172)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (63265) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51451) - you deserved it (3670)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57969) - you deserved it (3965)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50127) - you deserved it (13807)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)



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