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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, MAH SISTER AND I WERE HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY IN MAH ROOM SINCE MAH PARENTS LEFT ON A TRIP. THEY LEFT MAH GRANDPARENTS HERE TO WATCH US. IT WAS PAST BED TIME AND WE STARTED HEARING SOME STRANGE NOISES THROUGH MAH FLOOR. WE THOUGHT IT WAS THE RADIO. TURNS OUT MAH GRANDMA IS A SCREAMER. FML

Today.!! !! boss frd me fir being ( too morally ambiguous ) !! I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese !! FML

#20749746
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38543) - you deserved it (3630)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me an started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me an I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on mah lawn in protest. He has been there fir over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52844) - you deserved it (7928)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (13913)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

I discoverd that mah 20-year-old son has been using mah bras fir his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62279) - you deserved it (5908)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Taday I usd a public restroom. I saw my sister's soes walk into te stall next to me, so I gave er a little nudge wit my foot. We ten nudgd eac oter until I walkd out and saw a omeless man wit te same soes as my sister. He ten trid to old my and. mega FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (40541)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet!! This went on for a while due to an upset stomach!! I later walkd into the living room only to find my parents and a few of there friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyd from laughing so much!! FML

Today, after years of researching an saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal fir three hours before it burrowed under the fence an ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (51763)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, mah co-workers figured out that I was in high school when mah husband was in looool kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (47869)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT WHY MY DAUGHTER EATS SO MANY SUGARY BAKD GOODS!! ACCORDING TO HER, WHEN U BAKE THINGS, ALL THE SUGAR AN CALORIES ARE "RELEASD" AN SO U CAN'T GAIN WEIGHT FROM IT!! IT SEEMS I RAISD A MORON!! FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45662) - you deserved it (8922)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

TODAY, MAH SON VISITED FIR THE FRST TIME IN THREE YEARS, ASKING TO STAY AHILE. IT TURNS OUT HE INSULTED SOMEONE ONLINE AND GAVE HIS ADDRESS IN CASE THEY WANTED TO FIGHT HIM. THEY ACCEPTED THE OFFER, AND SO MAH SON'S IMAGINARY MUAY THAI SKILLS WENT AWOL, ALONG WITH HIS TESTICLES. REAL FML

#20726002
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (4405)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosd with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissd'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly ned some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (4711)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today... I bumpd into mah parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5...000 miles away... in a different country from looool them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58921) - you deserved it (3578)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)



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